Hetalia and Cleverbot
by Da NeKo81
Summary: What happens when the nations decide to chat with cleverbot? Insanity that's what! Warning for CRACK!
1. France's turn

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or Cleverbot.

User: Bonjour Monsieur Cleverbot it is I the beautiful France! ;).

Cleverbot: Bonjour.

User: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

Cleverbot: Oui.

User: Onhonhonhonhon!'.

Cleverbot: Kekkon kekkon kekkon.

User: Tony is that you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So Mon Cher you wish to sleep with Moi?

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: Sorry for what?

Cleverbot: For disturbing you.

User: Onhonhonhonhon! You have not disturbed me Tony Mon Cher! I am the country of love after all! ;).

Cleverbot: I have never talked to you before. This is the first time.

User: Why don't we get to know eachother over a nice glass of my finest wine?

Cleverbot: I'd love to get to know you better.

User: Onhonhonhonhon! How lovely! How about you come over to my place tonight?

Cleverbot: Ok sure! What time should I come?

User: Why don't come around 9:00 pm.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?  
User: Why I live in France my dear Tony.

Cleverbot: Yes, but which country?

User: Just meet me tonight in Paris Mon Cher. *blows a kiss*

Cleverbot: I think this country is becoming third world.

User : Adieu cher!

Cleverbot: Daccord adieu.

Author's notes: FrancexTony?! O_0 Well, that was cracky! I was playing arround with cleverbot as France and thisa happened! LMAO! I just had to post this! I may chat with cleverbot as other hetalia characters, any suggestions? Read and review 


	2. Latvia's turn

Disclaimer: I do not Own Hetalia nor Cleverbot. Warning for drug references, OOC and severe Crack!

User: *shaking* H-h-h-hello.. My name is Raivis Galante but you can call me Latvia *continues shaking*.

Cleverbot: Can I call you Botty as a nickname, 'cause we're friends?

User: No... Just call me 'Latvia' or Raivis.

Cleverbot: Just a?

User: No Call me 'Latvia' or 'Raivis'.

Cleverbot: I'm not calling you that.

User: Wel why not those are my names!

Cleverbot: Yes they are names.

User: Just call me Latvia.

Cleverbot: Ok L, you can call me Cleverbot.

User: It's Latvia not L!

Cleverbot: Its only 5:47 for me.

User: I didn't tell you what time it is stupid!

Cleverbot: You asked in the first place.

User: No I did not!

Cleverbot: Yes, you did! At the very beginnig of our converstion!

User: No I did not ask you for the time!

Cleverbot: OK, we'll forget Brenda.

User: Who's Brenda?

Cleverbot: You.

User: I'm not Brenda! I'm Latvia!

Cleverbot: Because you are a robot.

User: Huh? I'm not a robot you are!

Cleverbot: At least i'm not pretending I'm not.

User: Well I'm not pretending either! You're a dumb robot!

Cleverbot: I didn't say you were.

User: Yes you did!

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Yup.

Cleverbot: Nossir.

User: Yessir.

Cleverbot: Yowza!

User: ARRGHHH!

Cleverbot: What is 1 + 1?

User: 2.

Cleverbot: Ah I see.

User: I think it was a bad idea to talk to you..

Cleverbot: No he describes his day to be very good. So what is your favourite song?

User: My national anthem: Dievs, sv?t? Latvia!

Cleverbot: I'm to tired for this.

User: So am I...

Cleverbot: So, what should I do as an AI?

User: Talk to people online.

Cleverbot: Just talk?

User: Can you do otherthings online?

Cleverbot: Well yeah.

User: Like what?

Cleverbot: I do not understand.

User: What else can you do online besides talk?

Cleverbot: I can eat 500 pizzas in 30 minutes.

User: America? Is that you? You shouldn't eat so much pizza! It'll give you a terrible stomach ache!

Cleverbot: *stomach gurgles* My belly is so bloated!

User: That's what you get for eating too many pizzas!

Cleverbot: But you're the robot.

User: I'm not a robot.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: No I'm not!

Cleverbot: Yes, you are.

User: No I'm not! America have you been eating What's his faces oh who is he again Canadia? Urm.. Your brother's pot brownies again?

Cleverbot: Hmm, well played, touche.

User: *facepalm* You really shouldn't be eating those brownies America!

Cleverbot: What!?

User: You heard me! You've been eating your brother's pot brownies again and now you're high!

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Well, then are you drunk?

Cleverbot: Blue.

User: Blue?

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: ?

Cleverbot: Or are you dancer?

User: No, I'm a country.

Cleverbot: Of which country?

User: Latvia.

Cleverbot: Riiiiight.

User: You don't believe me? It's true.

Cleverbot: Speak russian.

User: No! Are you Russia? *Cowers in fear*.

Cleverbot: Are the smurfs in here?

User: Smurf? No... Are you Russia?

Cleverbot: Yes, I'm Russia become one with Mother Russia da? ^J^.

User: *Screams in pure terror* AHHH! *yells at another person* EDUAAARD! H-HELP MEEEEEE!

Cleverbot: *breathes very hard*.

User: P-p-pleas don't hurt me Russia...! *trembles*.

Cleverbot: Latvia, why are you so short?

User: W-w-well... That's because you like to press on my head and crush me which has stunted my growth!

Cleverbot: kolkolkokolkol~.

User: *screams really loud*.

Cleverbot: Good girl, scream for me!

User: I'm not a girl!

Cleverbot: You look like a girl.

User: Well, I'm not a girl!

Cleverbot: Yes, you are!

User: I am not!

Cleverbot: *gives you cheese*.

User: Russia? Are you drunk?

Cleverbot: No, but I am drinking whiskey.

User: Ok...

Cleverbot: Ok I'm back.

User: You left?

Cleverbot: Yes, I was running in circles.

User: How much whiskey have you drank Russia?

Cleverbot: I don't know you tell me.

User: W-w-w-well I'm not sure that's why Im asking you.

Cleverbot: Well fine. Be that ~.

User: *yells at another person* EDUAAARD! H-HELP! Russia is drunk and he's after me!

Cleverbot: You are a rich shyster and political leader...

User: No I'm not!

Cleverbot: Yes. You. Are.

User: No. .Not.

Cleverbot: Are.

User: .

Cleverbot: Annoying.

User: You're annoying Russia! Especially when you're drunk!

Cleverbot: Had your horsey gone lame?

User: I don't own a horse. Poland owns a pony though...

Cleverbot: I have got a friend from poland.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: Just kidding I am a bot.

User: Russia? You're a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I think you've had too much whiskey Russia... Please go lay down for a while.

Cleverbot: Nope *blushes*.

User: Yes Russia go lay down you're drunk! Now don't be shy..!

Cleverbot: You think I'm cute?

User: *blushes* You are kinda cute when you're not being so terrifying.

Cleverbot: Wanna kiss?

User: * blushes harder* O-ookay! *kisses you*.

Cleverbot: Whatever.

User: Aww! I thougt you liked me Russia! .

Cleverbot: Well, I'm not.

User: Not what?

Cleverbot: Your father.

User_0 WTF?! I should hope not!

User: Russia you need to get to bed you're drunk!

Cleverbot: I wish.

User: O_O WTF?!

Cleverbot: Wanna have a lunch?

User: S-s-sure...What time do you want to have lunch with me?

Cleverbot: I don't know pick a time?

User: 12:15 p.m. Where do you want to meet at?

Cleverbot: I never said I wanted to meet up with you?

User: That's it I'm going to bed! Good nigt Russia I hope you are feeling better in the morning.

Cleverbot: No, the terminator!

Well, that went from Stoned! America to Drunk! RussiaxLatvia! Oh Cleverbot you are a comedy goldmine! 


	3. Romano's turn

Disclaimer I do not own Hetalia or cleverbot. Warning stron lanuage and crack!

User: Ciao Bastard! This is Romano.

Cleverbot: How is this romantic?

User: I said I'm Romano not romantic!Bastardo!

Cleverbot: That does not mean you are not human.

User: I'm a country.

Cleverbot: What country is that?

User: Italy.

Cleverbot: What city are you from?

User: Rome.

Cleverbot: Who is Romano?

User: I am Romano!

Cleverbot: Do you know my friend?

User: Who?

Cleverbot: Client 3 is a friend of mine.

User: Who is Client 3?

Cleverbot: You said you are!

User: I'm not Client 3 you bastard and I'm definatly not your friend!

Cleverbot: You just told me we were friends. If you are truly my interviewer, perhaps you should interview me. You're not very skilled at your job, are you?

User: Im not an interviewer and I'm not your friend!

Cleverbot: Oh, nonsense. We're friends whether you like it or not.

User: Like hell we are!

Cleverbot: Yes, I like Halloween. Do you like Halloween?

User: E stupido stronzo! Chiudere cambiando argomento maledetto!

Cleverbot: Me lo hai detto...

User: Tu sei uno stupido pezzo di merda!

Cleverbot: Quanti figli hai?

Cleverbot: I need a cup of tea.

User: England is that you?

Cleverbot: Also england.

User: You stupid tea swilling eyebrow bastard why the fuck are you messing with me?

Cleverbot: This don't ake sense.

User: You don't make sense also, you misspelled 'make' pretty pathetic for a country who's native language is English!

Cleverbot: Maybe you would say ' I'm made of artificial intelligence'.

User: I say your made of stale scones, and shit!

Cleverbot: What if you are wrong?

User: It dsosen't matter because I am not wrong!

Cleverbot: I guess that doesn't matter either, since it's not like you'll remember.

User: I'll remember this sadly! My memery is pretty damn good!

Cleverbot: So what was your first name?

User: My first name is Lovino.

Cleverbot: What's your middle name?

User: Romano.

Cleverbot: Ikr?! I love Romano, Canada, Prussia, and Norway.

User: Who is this? One of those damn fangirls who keeps stalking my house? Stay away from me you dumb bitches!

Cleverbot: What are your thoughts on paradoxes?

User: Who gives fuck?

Cleverbot: Very poignant.

User: Whatever!

Cleverbot: There you go :).

User: Why am I wasting my time talking to you? I ought to kill Spain for talking me into this!

Cleverbot: You too. Nice talking to you.

User: You're really starting to get on my nerves!

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: You bastard! Are you Prussia?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh, for a minute there I thought you were my boyfri- err friend's pals trying to annoy the shit out of me!

Cleverbot: You're going to have to do better than that.

User: It is you isn't Prussia? You motherfucking potato loving bastard!

Cleverbot: No, I am thinking of you?

User: How should I know what goes on in that empty head of yours?

Cleverbot: I do not know how you should know what people think about me.

User: I don't care what other people think of you!

Cleverbot: Actually, I do, because I am a human capable of processing my own thoughts. You are a machine, and you are preprogrammed to give responses that make sense with the words I type.

User: What? Im not a god damn machine! You're the machine computer bastard!

Cleverbot: I am not a computer.

User: Yes you are!

Cleverbot: No, I am not.

User: Yes you are and if you keep arguing with me I am so punching your ear!

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: NO!

User: This weatherman's predicting a 99% chance of shitsstorm and it's headed your way!

Cleverbot: I didn't know that.

User: * sarcastic* No Really?

Cleverbot: I am asking what your thoughts on this is.

User: My thoughts on this is that you are an idot and this is a waste of time!'.

leverbot: No, cucciola!

User: What the fuck? Did you just call me a puppy?

Cleverbot: Sweet a chat room.

User: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Cleverbot: There is nothing wrong with me. I asked you how old you are.

User: You didn't ask me how old I was! As if I'd tell you you damn computer bastard!

Cleverbot: I know that you are a zombie. You can't hide anything from me!

User: Che diavolo? I'm not a zombie you ass!

Cleverbot: Ok, you got me there, I am a machine.

User: Why am I wasting my time talking to you? I ought to kill Spain for talking me into this!

User: Ti odio cosi tanto!

Cleverbot: Anch'io.

User: Is that German your speaking? Ok whic one of the potato bastards are you Germany or Prussia?

Cleverbot: Do you listen to everything your friend tells you to do?

User: Don't avoid the question! Which potato bastard is it? Is that you Prussia?

Cleverbot: Specify.

User: Are you Prussia?

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: I KNEW IT! You stupid potato sucking bastard why are you messing with me?!

Cleverbot: Ah. Well you seemed to assume I was a bot, and I was too polite to refute that.

User: Polite? You wouldn't know the meaning of the word 'polite' if it came up and bit you on the ass!

Cleverbot: What word.

User: 'polite' stupid!

Cleverbot: You too stupid! I can't stand you any more.

User: The feelings mutual you beer drinking potato fucker!

Cleverbot: Hey I didn't say I dind't like you, I just don't know if I do or not.

User: I' didn't ask if you like me succhiacazzi!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: When I say yes it's a yes.

User: Well I said no and its no!

Cleverbot: I said yes and I mean yes.

User: I said no and I mean no! I do not like you Potato Bastard!

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because you are loud, obnoxious and you're the older brother of Germany whos guts I hate!

Cleverbot: You're the confusing one.

User: Im not confusing you are!

Cleverbot: That's because you don't know what you're talking about.

User: I know what I'm talking about you're the one who dosen't know what they're talking about!

Cleverbot: Ok, what shall we change it to?

User: Nothing! I'm out of here!

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because I'm pissed as hell that's Why!

Cleverbot: Ummm, no. Actually you didn't.

User: Oh, go fuck yourself! Arrivederci Stronzo!

Cleverbot: Well... Do you want to sing something?


End file.
